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Results 2008 - Short Story Competition |
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The winning entries to the City of Derby Writing Competition 2008 are now included on this website. You can read the works in question by clicking on the links below. The results of this year's short story competition are given below:- [ Link to Results 2008 - Poetry Competition] Short Stories 1st Prize Krystyna Smallman The Fat One
Krystyna Smallman lives in Malaga in
Spain. She has had stories published in magazines and e-zines, and
currently has a story on the JBWB website called
The Bit In The
Middle, which won first prize in the Winter 2007 Competition. Joint 2nd Prize Jo Cannon Blessings Jo is a GP in inner-city Sheffield. She has had some success in short story competitions over the last few years - including taking third place in the 2006 City of Derby writing competition with Nasma's Malady - and her stories have been accepted by 'The Reader', 'Cadenza', 'Tears in the Fence', and 'Myslexia' magazines. Joint 2nd Prize Jonathan Pinnock The Amazing Arnolfini and His Wife
In an outrageous act of audacity we
have stolen the following autobiographical details about Jonathan from
Smokebox. "Jonathan Pinnock was born in Bedfordshire, England,
and - despite having so far visited over forty other countries - has
failed to relocate any further away than the next-door county of
Hertfordshire. He is married with two children and a 1961 Ami
Continental jukebox. He does not currently own a dog, but, curiously, he
does have a degree in Mathematics." We do in all seriousness,
however, thoroughly recommend a visit to his website,
www.jonathanpinnock.com The following works are considered as Highly Commended short story submissions:- Isabella Clarke Tempting Eve Gayla Chaney Swamp Monster Sally-Anne Thomas The Bridge Builder Ken McBeath Daddy's Girl Carmen Squillante Hidden Treasure Louis Malloy The Pretty People Feel No Pain
Judge's Report I have made specific comments on those 5 out of the 527 stories entered into this competition that I felt most likely to have been eventual winners. Swamp Monster This was a solid story. It worked, flowed, had some interest and a very decent finish. It just misses, but only just. I found it hard to fault except maybe it could have been a little brisker or perhaps more layered. Tempting Eve This was a tough story to decide upon. It’s more literary; it’s rich, it has some excellent lines, and, arguably, plenty of plot. I kept coming back to it, often thinking “This is the winner” but a few things niggled at me. First, the opening, though “in keeping” (about books) was distinctly like “warm-up”. Second, it felt like the author stopped and started writing. Chunks flowed very well but they were chunks. Third, the feel and style was novelistic and thus slightly baggier than in an ideal short. Fourth, though at some points the characterization was excellent (especially the affair) at times, (in the ending most of all) I felt the author’s hand steering the character. Fine writing, no doubt and I suspect this author writes novels and will publish a good one in the next few years. But as a story - nearer to poems than novels - I have these small niggling doubts. Blessings Blessings opens with one nun tending another, then we flashback to the younger and healthier nun working in Africa for many years. What was here was deceptively simple, but it was the small things which lifted the story for me, how the sister advised young girls. The story is very short but many writers would have spent pages showing us what this writer did with a few brushstrokes. Briefly, a man is on the scene, and one child dies. I liked this story as much for the things barely said, and for the single message, that our blessings are the people who touch our lives. The last line was a killer. The Amazing Arnolfini and His Wife This story had a good start. The title has great promise and the first paragraph is brisk and begins in media res. The story is actually narrated by the wife of the title and that was one niggle. The beginning felt male and I found it hard to see a wife using her husband’s title in the abstract. What carried this story was the action in the middle, (tightrope walking). That was excellent and interesting. There is a quiet murder plot and this leads to a larger scene which launches the finish. That finish is good, and it’s just about possible to believe the motivations but my small niggle here was that a little foreshadowing and set-up might have made the attempts more believable. Nevertheless, this was the most original of the pieces, with good action. It lacked (faintly) all the clarity I would have liked but we are talking fine distinctions now. A distinction so fine that I have to choose Blessings and The Amazing Arnolfini and his Wife as jointly placed second in this competition. The Fat One Written in an almost Pidgin English, for the most part this had a great voice. There were moments when the voice slipped slightly but overall it was very good, and, more importantly, enjoyable. The story was rich in characters, had a smooth plot, and a cheerful ending. While not “literary” (my preference) there was much that was implied rather than stated, and many great one-liners. I had initially put this story aside as a great runner-up, as I felt the opening weak but by the end of the first page it picked up enough that I wanted to read on. After much deliberation, the winner. Alex Keegan, October 2008 |
Krystyna Smallman
Jonathan Pinnock